About Me

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Who am I? Just another soul on this aquamarine planet who is getting on with life, experiencing new things, meeting new people...

Sunday, 6 June 2010

... forgotten

The last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster, I may look quite happy on the outside but have battled on the inside with who I am & with the help of others, where I fit in.

Unlike most of my friends & aqaintances, I have no family here, no sister to go shopping with, no Mum to pop by, no family gatherings.. nada!

I mostly do things on my own steam, or just keep an ear out for things that may be happening & ask if I can join in.... I'm social, why deny something that's part of me? Am I really expected to wear a shroud of 'invisibility' and not 'live'?

It ain't so good. Just so grateful, that sometimes I'm remembered.

Everyday is a battle with my emotions, not living with my girls is the hardest thing I have ever done. It tears at my soul, if 'they' new (not my girls, they know) how sometimes I am held together by nothing stronger that tissue paper, then maybe 'they' would judge me less. Not that I value myself by their judgement, but I am human & have a womens heart, one that is easily hurt.. my tears are real.

But, it's ignorance that keeps blindfolds in place & culture that enslaves and binds... I won't be bound, I am free from those things & victory is mine!

My only prayer is that in this difficult time & as I struggle on, I will draw nearer to Him who gives me strength - because, without Him, I would be nothing but an ignorant fool.

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